I would not say, per say that am a very emotional person, I would rather think of myself as “Martha suck it up” .of course compared to an average gal ,hereby saying my sister, let’s just say the gal is too emotional ,so I base on her most of the time to rate myself. okay so I cry at a few movies and TV shows like undercover boss when the boss and the hardworking employee with three jobs are both crying, or that old show extreme makeover , when they rebuild homes for well deserved people, They feel me with a lot of emotion so I join the cry party, so one of those random days when an episode of undercover boss was on TV , and I was alone, I wasn’t embarrassed to cry and it so happens I had just gone through my first real heart break and it was still fresh and yeah painful, the crying was more, my elder sister walks in on me and she rushes and hugs me saying my heart will heal and I would get over that boy, I accepted the hugs although the irony was that an episode of undercover boss was on, she didn’t know that when she is not home every one cries at these episodes , the gals I mean and my brother is always just in owe of our misplaced emotions as he calls them. Anyway stay with me, am getting to the point. Above all these things, music moves my emotions most, I love music and I learnt that music is not only an expression of worship but a spirit that can move even the most solidified hearts. I just break down and sing listen, let the music feel me up.
In the past being a Christian I had struggled a lot with keeping up my time table for reading the word but my relationship with God was growing, then I realized that it was the music, I sang songs to God all the time because as much as I loved singing I also realized that I always felt better and I was declaring God s word in my life. Someone once said that music is meditation explaining that ‘WORLDLY MUSIC” as they refer to it,( funny term) is not necessarily bad but what is the song saying, as a person you may not think anything to it but what we declare by month spoken or sang tends to actually reign in our lives, saying that how can someone think of being faithful to one person and respects them listens and sings music that idolizes women as b### and other words saying you cannot have just one, and expect them to act otherwise, that’s word for thought.
Anyway my expression of worship to God is through music, that’s where I feel am close to touching him, if that’s a feeling, I feel un judged, safe, peaceful and home. So when I get up on stage on a Sunday morning, it doesn’t matter what am going through, all of a sudden my insecurities and fear fade and I let go, I sing so that others can also experience what I feel, experience a piece of their father. Sometimes my friends that come to church joke that up there I look like I smoked something, that am overly excited. well dah, to me music is my safe place and sometimes I like artistes and their music by the emotion I feel through the music or what they are trying to tell people whether they are in pain, experiencing amazing love or happy, I feel there spirit…I think. Anyway find your expression of worship, a place that keeps you sane and grounded.